Thursday, 1 May 2008


Something so terrible happened today that I am not sure I am even able to communicate the extremity of the situation in any way that can possibly begin to explain the horror. Having just studied the finer points of hyperbole with one of my classes, I realise that I am perhaps being a tad overdramatic, but honestly, it is bad.

This morning, as of 6.42am, my GHDs officially died. I plugged them in, no little red light. I wiggled the lead incase it was a lose a little red light. I changed the fuse (actually my mum did because fortunately I was staying at my parents last night)...but little red light. It was almost a disaster beyong reasoning. Nothing. Zippo. Nada. WHat am I going to do? Today I could borrow the mother's...tomorrow...a void....

I know the reliance on GHDs is not a good thing and yet I find myself unable to contemplate not having straight hair. Having been a bit of a tomboy in my youth I never really cared about my hair that much and therefore never really bothered learning how to do interesting styles with it. With the onset of age came the onset of "girliness" and GHDs became an essential part of my grooming ritual. In fact, they are at the centre of my morning ritual with the time I get out of bed being calculated explicity to how long it will take me to do my hair against what time I need to leave. It's not even as though I have frizzy hair. I don't. It's actually quite straight, just a bit thick. But GHDs make it STRAIGHT...(ona blog do I need to say "other hair-straightening products are available?) But I just don't know what else to do with the hair that doesn't make me look like a 12 year old or like I have a slap-head!

I honestly do not know what I am going to do tomorrow morning. I have warned the children that if my hair does not look up to usual straight standard tomorrow they are not allowed to comment or I might cry (or failing that hurl a whiteboard marker at them - notice how that doesn't have the same effect as chalk?) I can't afford a new pair (they may be wonderful but they are expensive when I am broke!) and I am not sure I can cope with an imitation set.

I know, I know, in the grand scheme of world problems this is minor and, some would say, trifle. But I can't help my obsession. And it obsession...I know that. Perhaps this is just what I need to start weening me off...

Or perhaps I am just trying to make myself feel better...

Monday, 21 April 2008

Yes...I am useless (or perhaps busy) read my last (and lets be honest, only) post I realised that setting up a blog is a great idea but actually writing it is a lot harder to maintain. I would like to say that I have been doing some incredibly interesting and exceptionally stunning things like bungee jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge or swimming cageless with Great White Sharks but, sadly, none of this is accurate.
I have in fact been side-tracked, waylaid, nay robbed by time. He's a little bugger this time feller. He sneaks in, beats you over the head with a second hand and before you know it he's robbed you of a month. And what do you have to show for that month? A drastically reduced bank balance, slightly emptier freezer and a burn mark on the carpet. I wonder if it would ever be possible to catch him so I set up a little trap in the corner of the room. Four days later all I had caught was an insanely large amount of dust and one rather miffed bee. Although catching a bee was really a good thing because, apparently, in 10 years time there won't be any left. That's what I keep hearing anyway. I don't know where they are all going, but perhaps its like the dolphins in "So Long and Thanks for all the Fish." Maybe they know something we don't and are vacating the planet for safer climes. If you see a Vogon construction

Meanwhile, I am left here pondering the miracle that is time. Before clocks, did we have time. Did cavemen look at the sun and say "Ah, it's half past latest, time to go hunting again?" I am sure if I was a scientist I would be able to offer some mathematical equation which explains the inner workings of time but I am not. I'm just a simple English teacher. I could write you a poem about time but that's about it. Maybe I will do that on the next post (which, lets face it is likely to be in another year!)